Peer Lived Experience - Anon

My story starts like anyone else’s. A few drinks here and there in my teens, more drinks in my twenties, and then progressively throughout my life because it’s part of our cultural make up to have a drink. We drink for every occasion: happiness, sadness, sophistication, bravery, social acceptance, strength, relaxation … and we drink to forget, and to erase our problems, and to cope with life.

I like to preface that with, nobody leaves school with the intention of ‘becoming an alcoholic, or drug addict, or gambling addict, or addicted to shopping or porn’ – addiction is not an ‘intention’.

I loved drinking and I hated it, in equal measures. It morphed over the years into something far more insidious which started to affect my entire life, including my relationships with family, friends and colleagues.

It was when I tried to stop, that I realised it was going to be more difficult than I realised. And yet, I just kept on repeating the cycle, until 2012.

I genuinely thought I could tame the beast.

For me, alcohol dependency comprised of a subtle, shifting tide of binges and abstinence, getting merry versus utter self-loathing and feelings of dread in relation to the damage I knew I was inflicting on my body by drinking so much, and repetitive subsequent cycle of anxiety.

By the time I was in my early 40’s I’d spent a good 10 years trying (and failing) to give it up once and for all. I tried different groups and modalities, and I just couldn’t seem to ‘get it’. I finally went to my doctor and laid my cards on the table, and she gave me a load of suggestions – SMART was included – and I thought HELL. What have I got to loose – I’m not sure I can hit rock bottom much more at this point!

That was in 2018. I attended meetings on and off for 2 years, and while I hadn’t completely knocked it on the head – I definitely started to see a shift in my thoughts and actions.

In 2020, while lots of the world started drinking more, I used the time in constant isolation to stay sober, and in that year I trained as a SMART Facilitator, and I’ve been running a weekly meeting ever since.

How did you find SMART Recovery and why do you think it works?

I had tried many other modalities, and tried to stay alcohol free on my own, in various approaches over several years - with varying degrees of success.

SMART Recovery stands for self-management and recovery training. This program is a support program that teaches people how to manage their addictions by focusing on unhealthy thought patterns and beliefs. SMART is a self-empowerment program.

- SMART Recovery meetings are open to anyone regardless of the addiction.

- With SMART Recovery, participants are not labeled with terms like alcoholic or addict. Labels like this are considered to serve no purpose and may, in some cases, interfere with treatment.

- The whole point of SMART Recovery is to actively make changes and to accept full responsibility, so we don’t relate it to anyone except ourselves, and that we have put ourselves in the place we are.

- Participants only attend meetings for as long as they prove useful and necessary.

Can you share how SMART impacts participants and even your own journey?

The concept of CBT in the recovery space is important.

SMART is practical, science and fact based, and a lot of people truly are reaching out for different approaches to how they deal with their maladaptive behaviours.

There is a no judgement approach to SMART Recovery, and we encourage our attendees to leave shame and guilt at the door.

There are fantastic worksheets and tools available to utilise, with my personal favourite being the cost benefit analysis. I mean – we have applied a systematic process that businesses use to analyze which decisions to make and which to forgo. That works for my brain!

I love that our SMART four-point program does not need to be followed consecutively.

The 4 areas, commonly referred to as points, are as follows:

• Building, increasing, and maintaining motivation

• Coping with urges (using habit loop theories, and urge surfing as an example)

• Self-management

• Rebuilding a balanced lifestyle

Anything you would say to encourage those early on this journey of recovery?

If at first you don’t succeed, try – try – try again. Never stop trying, because every time you do, you are just that little bit further way from being sick and tired, of being sick and tired.